Friday, March 7, 2014

Be Your Own Jew

Shabbat Shalom!

I recently read an article written by Rabbi Amitai Adler. In this article he outlines where his certain religious practices and beliefs lie on the "Jewish spectrum". He makes the strong point that he doesn't feel comfortable and homey in any of the defined Jewish sects. He grew up Orthodox, then transitioned throughout his life. He is currently a Conservative Rabbi but doesn't feel like he truly belongs in that movement. But I won't give you a full summary, you'll have to read it for yourself, http://shma.com/2014/02/motion-without-movement/

As I read this article, I completely understood where Rabbi Adler was coming from. We definitely have different beliefs and observances, but we both agree that we don't completely belong in one movement. The article made me reflect on where I lie on the spectrum.

The last few years, if someone asked me what kind of Jew I am, I would have easily responded, "A good, Reform Jew". I always took pride in the fact that I was Reform. I was one of two Reform Jews in my Jewish day school class of 28. I felt a responsibility to support and defend the movement. I was repeatedly accused of not being "a real Jew". I aligned myself even more with the movement, feeling like it needed to be protected.

Going to an AMAZING URJ (Union for Reform Judaism) camp, OSRUI, I connected even more with my Reform Judaism. I love singing prayers and learning about the Mitzvot (commandments) and then choosing whether or not I felt the need to follow them. It encouraged me to go to Temple more. When my family goes, I don't even complain anymore, I enjoy going...it's weird.

I really grew to love Reform Judaism.

However, as time goes on, I worry for the movement. Spending time with 70 Reform Jews, many of whom are leading services every week, I preview the future of the Reform movement. And the future includes a lot more English, a lot less understanding, and a lot less observance. We've begun singing random songs at the end of services. Once and a while they have a connection to the service, but most of the time its simply a song with a nice melody. I can't fully explain why that bothers me, but it really, really does. It just seems inappropriate.

I use my phone on Shabbat. I always have. But I refrain from using it inside the sanctuary. So it really bothers me when, not only the congregants are on their phone, but the leaders and rabbis are! It's disrespectful! I understand that technology is efficient, but it's not that hard to write down a quick outline on paper.

My Conservative day school is finally catching up to me. I can't sit during certain prayers, skip certain passages, or sing an English version of every damn prayer. Understanding the prayer is important, but the Hebrew is a part of our culture, our history, and our religion. We can't ignore it. I also personally believe that the Hebrew makes it so much more poetic.

If someone were to ask me now what kind of Jew I am, I might respond with a cheesy, "My own Jew. Sort of Reform, sort of everything else."

I'm still figuring out where I belong. But throughout this trip, I'm learning that my religion and spirituality mean so much more to me than I thought. I'm learning that I'm not as liberal as I thought. I'm learning that I really hate English in services unless it's call and response. But I haven't figured everything out. A common phrase in Israel is slowly, slowly, and that's just how I'm going.

Hope everyone has a great Shabbat/weekend!
Shoshana :)


3 comments:

  1. I agree with a lot of things you said. I am definitely not the most observant Jew, but certain things we do seem a little ridiculous to me, particularly the songs at the end of services. Nearly every service led by students has an American song at the end that does not tie in at all. They're often love songs that just don't have any significance at all, and it just seems careless to me. One thing I'd like to point out though is that for you the Hebrew might be very meaningful important, but I think at least part of that is probably because you can understand most of it. For most of us, we have no idea what we're saying unless we read along with the English, thus not reciting the Hebrew.

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  2. Possibly this is because I was never introduced to conservative practice or truly any other Judaism besides Reform, but my stance is quite dfferent. I do happen to appreciate the Hebrew and will forever associate it with services, but otherwise I do not mind the unstructured ways of service. Its easy for me to meditate in many type of prayer scenarios, this just being another. I support your identification as a mixed Jew and encourage you to create your own form of the religion we share.

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  3. This is a very thoughtful blog posting. I shared it with Rabbi Gibson who said he often feels the same way and is looking forward to discussing it with you when you get home. We are very impressed with your writing and how you express your opinions.

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